If you have been reading my blog posts, you already know that the desire for perfection is my enemy. I battle with self judgment. Others battle with judgment from the sidelines. In either case, NOT HELPFUL!
I have always defined the concept of self-sabotage as something people do because subconsciously, they don’t want to succeed. I see now that I can desire success and still get in my own way. Not asking for help is a BIG one for me. I even wrote a blog post about it ten years ago.
Today I feel overwhelmed. I woke up that way. Work, the child, horses, life. I don’t think today is any different than yesterday, except that I have a show jump lesson today at 2:45. Show jumping lessons give me anxiety and I start to walk down the path of self-sabotage.
I was almost cleaned up when Junior finally got back to the barn after a less than perfect lesson. I reminded her that we came here to learn and that horses is hard. She said, “I don’t need to be perfect, I just don’t want to suck.”